Since 1994

On this day

The sunrise alarm clock interrupts my night's rest and announces I have to get ready for work. Still standing, I drink my coffee, which is prepared for me by the currently quickest beverage maker Hot H106. I bought it in spring on the world exhibition in Prague. In a morning paper that resembles a dictionary I catch a glimpse of the news preview informing readers that next month an improved model X103 will come out and will prepare various beverages in incredible 3 seconds. It’s a good thing a pre-order form is enclosed, since I have to carry my current device to the city workshop almost every week. It seems it has an irreparable system failure.

My clock tells me that today the bun delivery guy from the Hello Bread bakery will be late. But finally I hear a synthetic melody, which announces his arrival. He is half a minute late, so I yell at him and in the same breath threaten him that I will change my delivery guy and make sure he will get sacked this very day. His excuses about morning rush hours on the six-lane horse radial road don’t interest me one bit. As a result of such delay the buns got cold, and I will not eat cold buns, so I throw them in the trash. I miss the bin intended for buns, so they land in the adjacent bin intended for old bread. Last time, eco-gendarmes charged me with a 50 crown fine, because I didn’t throw banana peels in the exotic fruit container.

The look at wardrobe halls seriously confuses me each time I have to choose among countless shirts, several hundred different bow-ties and hats. Luckily, towards the end of the summer all these items of clothing will be out of fashion, so for that purpose I booked a three-day vacation in early August so that in two nights that I will spend waiting in line I will ensure the best position possible in the battle for at least a few new pieces of clothing on the monthly sale. The very thought of all these outdated clothes that will remain in closets disturbs me. Maybe the Cleaner will show some interest in them, since the Institute of Saint Strauss has not been taking any textile goods for the past seasons. And the today’s morning paper supplement already shows clothes that will be fashionable within three years. What will I do with all these clothes?

In the courtyard, awaits the washed red sports carriage produced by the Meier AG affiliated group and brushed black Portuguese horses. The carriage is equipped with all the latest technology and is really something special. It arouses admiration as well as genuine envy in people. My coachman whips up the team and speeds up, because it usually takes at least one hour to get to my workplace that is just a few streets away. During the ride I elaborate on my work plan and today’s goal. Initially, the line of horse teams moves at a snail’s pace, but all of a sudden it comes to a halt and we get stuck in a horse jam. I try to see what’s happening. Coachmen are shouting, calling each other names, in short – a complete chaos. In a while I hear sirens; a gendarme’s carriage rushes by closely followed by a wagon of healers, who are followed by the investigating judge on a horse. I learn that five carriages were involved in a chain collision, because some horses failed to respect safety distances. Finally, the Horse Service removes the consequences of the horse accident and we continue our ride.

At work I first call the head of the department to defend himself why the monthly plan exceeded the set plan only twofold. Later, I invite our network promoter to an official lunch. With my business carriage we take a turn to the Drive-in and quickly eat up boiled potatoes with melted cheese. We discuss the impossible deadline for the completion of our new branch office. He ensures me that additional construction workers from southern provinces have also been called in and some hundred work horses have been brought in, and are working day and night.

Late in the afternoon all multi-lane cart tracks are crowded again. Everyone is pouring out of the city centre, leaving everywhere foul-smelling horse dropping, which are consuming the city. The coachman is pondering out loud whether to head towards the Corner Mart shopping palace over the southern bypass or around the internal circle. On the way there we also turn to the Oats Service Station that provides more than 30 high-energy horse watering places. Some also offer special additives that additionally reduce horse emissions.

On the way I watch numerous sign-writers and other artists, who are drawing or altering barely finished huge paintings that depict new, even better products. Even the church bell will show a new painting. I can’t believe my own eyes, when I see the announcement that as early as this year a new, extended version of the Langwan carriage will hit the markets. And I just bought this one.

In the evening my dear Rosemary is already waiting for me at the entrance to the Theatroseum, the theatre with eighteen halls and performances for all tastes. When, after some serious rough-and-tumble, we finally get the tickets, we get in line for fried hazelnuts and cider. This year’s hit is a thin tube used for drinking a beverage that is cooled with crushed ice, which is brought every morning with an express postal carriage from a far-away glacier.

And finally I’m home. Someone knocks on the door. Maybe it’s my neighbour Özgün? I open the door, but it’s not my neighbour, it’s someone who is trying to convince me that I absolutely need a new hair gel. Don’t you see I’m bold? But he’s already offering me a new bottle of Vitaminhair. He barely lefts and there’s already someone on the street shouting and announcing that tomorrow a new mega market will be opened in the neighbourhood.

It’s midnight. I’m lying on a mattress that has just been changed and think about the day I spent.
I wonder how it will all seem 100 years from now.

The day was experienced by Robi Mihelčič